Letter to Estelle | Three Months

Dear Estelle,

It feels like we spend so much time together already but if these three months are an indication of how the rest of your first year is going to be then I need to start pausing more throughout the day. To pay attention to all your little movements and faces you make. To hold you a little closer and a little longer. Because it’s been a blink and you are now trying to turn over every which way, holding your head up during tummy time to take in your surroundings, waving your hands and kicking your feet.

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As you break away from the newborn stage and your personality pokes through more and more, I still get an air of mystery about you. Like there is still a sense of something about you we are only getting a glimmer of. You’re much different from your brother when he was your age; we could tell he would have a bombastic personality and time has proven that true. 

But you? You are…you. While we have had to learn to go go go for Louis, we are learning to move slower for you. We are learning to be more mindful of the small and quiet ways about you. Sure, you’ve got your big goofy grin and squeal that’s all gums and drool (which we LOVE to be on the receiving end of) but then you’ll gift us with one of your slow to spread like molasses smiles or give a one-eyed squint smirk. And it’s like you’re keeping a secret. Those looks are like promises that there’s more to come.

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But more what??? We are excited to find out. Will you be mellow and easy going? Will you be contemplative and curious? Will you be quiet? Will you be loud? Will you be mischievous? Will you be driven by emotions and outta the box ideas, like your brother (like your mama)? Or will calm logic see you more disciplined and more methodical (like your daddy)? 

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You’ll be a firecracker, we are sure of it. (You know how to demand attention and hold your own in this family.) Though Daddy and I think we are crazy for wanting you to have a bit of fire in your bones, our hope is that we can help teach and show you how powerful and courageous you are to grow and do hard things. We pray that we raise you in a home that delights in your strengths and loves in your weaknesses… and that it’ll all come together to paint a gorgeous picture of grace.

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This world groans for grace. For grace, for compassion, for mercy, for hope. May you light up the sky for folks to find the truth of these wonders in their lifetime.

Love,

Mama

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