Letter to Estelle | Nine Months

It’s here. That time…when you fight us over every little thing and try to establish your own mini kingdom within this household, when you acknowledge boundaries set and smugly go waltzing through them, when you are yearning to grow and do and be everything that your always-on brain is screaming at you to accomplish. The times has come.

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And you are owning this blip in time, Estelle. You are fully embracing life as the little sister, life as the beloved daughter, life as the baby on the cusp of toddlerhood. I’m just here for the ride. There are times I would like to say that your daddy and I are artfully guiding you (and your brother) along to become considerate, respectful and kind adults — an obvious hope and goal of ours — but, really, we are just barely keeping up with all this growing up you’re doing.

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It’s kind of cringe-worthy, huh? You’ll be reading this one day in the future and just wrinkle up your nose and think “Oh my gosh they really didn’t know what they were doing. Like they knew they didn’t know what they were doing and still kept doing whatever.” Yeah…sorry? But not really. Because it’s been rather freeing and enjoyable not knowing what the heck we’re doing half the time. We aren’t caught up in the standards of this and that or overly concerned of how and when. Instead, we are getting to know you better for who you are.

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And getting to do that — to watch you learn, to see you become you, to embrace your quirks, to celebrate your victories — all in the full trust and knowledge of Abba’s goodness has been empowering and humbling in the same breath. What prayers we have for you, sweet girl! What wonders we cannot wait to find alongside you! You have made me laugh out loud in such delight in these last nine months, Estelle, that I cannot begin to imagine how much fuller my heart will grow with the love I have for you in the time to come. So for now, in this time of discovery and defiance, I’ll just hold you a bit tighter and love on you a bit longer.

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Love,
Mama

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